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Diamond rings have been associated with engagements and weddings for a long time. Way back in the year 1477 the Archduke Maximillian of Austria and Mary of Burgundy became engaged, and the Archduke chose a diamond ring to mark the occasion. It is thought that was the start of the tradition of using diamond rings to mark an engagement.

A purchase of an engagement ring is an extremely important purchase.

When you’re buying an engagement ring you are doing something that is almost unique for most people. You are buying something that you will both have for life. What else is there that you buy once - for your whole life?

A house? Not really. Or at least not for most people. The majority of people have a number of houses throughout their life.

A car? No. Never.

Is there anything else? Not really, it is almost unique in our lives when buying an engagement ring that it is intended to be the only one we ever buy.

Nothing is, or should be, more enduring in your life than the engagement ring you select.

So an engagement ring is a very significant and important purchase and diamonds mark such an important occasion perfectly.

Why diamonds? Why not some other beautiful jewelry stone?

Diamonds represent the ultimate. The best. There is no better jewelry stone than a diamond. And no more expensive. By buying a diamond you’re saying “this is important to me and I’m making sure I get it right by buying the best”.

And the ultimate diamond engagement ring has to be a diamond solitaire ring. Why a diamond solitaire when there’s so many different and beautiful diamond rings? So many other choices to tempt you?

There are some beautiful three stone rings. Just magnificent rings worthy to adorn any finger. But they aren’t diamond solitaires. Three stones just don’t cut it like one magnificent stone.

A stone that a woman has to wear on her hand for the rest of her life has to be the best the couple can afford. It has to be a stone that she is proud to wear. A stone that shows her off to the world. It has to be a stone that people admire.

And that’s where a diamond solitaire stands out. It encapsulates the magic of love. It says look at me, I’m married and I’m wearing a magnificent diamond to show it to the world.

It makes a statement.

So when your time comes to make that one and only purchase, that purchase for the most important person in your life and the only purchase you may ever make for life, make sure you get it right.

Buy her a diamond solitaire engagement ring and make sure it’s a good one.

Fighting fairly is one of the most important skills you can learn in order to keep your marriage healthy and strong. While it may first seem that fighting only happens in “bad” marriages, fighting actually happens in all marriages.

Researcher David Olson of the University of Minnesota estimates that 25% of marriages are happy. 50% of couples will never be happy without very good therapy. 30% of marriages are considered “empty”, with little love or joy. 25% of marriages could be really happy if the couples learned better how to communicate and how to resolve conflict.

It is this latter 25% that should be focused on. Learning to fight fair can be the difference between a bad fight/bad marriage and a bad fight/good marriage. You can have a bad fight but still have an overall good marriage. In fact, couples who fight productively report more marital satisfaction once the fight has ended.

What separates out the couples who fight and make up from the ones who don’t? In two words: fighting fairly.

Couples who fight fairly demonstrate several subtle, but crucial traits, that keep them from becoming overly angry and hostile. What are the traits which separate fair fighting couples from those who don’t?

1) Fair fighting couples focus on the behavior, not the person. “Honey, can you please put your dishes in the sink?” rather than, “You’re so lazy. Why can’t you put your dishes in the sink?”

2) Fair fighting couples state their requests directly. If they want their partner to behave differently, they ask for it. They are able to communicate clearly about what they desire. “Please put your dishes in the sink from now on” rather than, “I need you to change.”

3) Fair fighting couples limit their focus in arguments. Rather than “kitchen sinking” an argument (where you complain about everything at once and throw in the kitchen sink for good measure), fair fighting couples focus on one issue at a time.

4) Fair fighting couples maintain healthy respect and good nonverbal communication. The importance of good nonverbal marital communication has been highlighted by John Gottman, a well known marital researcher at the University of Washington, who has identified four behaviors leading to relationship distress. One of these behaviors is contempt. Couples who show a high degree of nonverbal contempt for each other (through behaviors like eye-rolling, avoiding eye contact, shaking their heads) are more likely to have relationship distress.

5) Fair fighting couples allow the fight to be over. One important element of fighting fairly is to let the fight be over when it’s done with. FC’s find it easy to forgive, if not forget. They do not bring up old issues again and again just to prove a point. Fair fighting couples’s take the chance to make up and reconnect at the first opportunity.

6) Fair fighting couples discuss issues sooner rather than later. They know that it’s easier to talk about an issue while it’s small, before it becomes overwhelming or leads to extreme resentment.

7) Finally, fair fighting couples focus on winning in the relationship, not on winning the fight. They remember that they are on the same team, working for the same goal, and are, really, allies rather than enemies. They keep the relationship as their main focus rather than focusing mainly on their personal ego.

Fair fighting is a skill that can learned. If more people learned to do it, it’s likely that fewer marriages would end in divorce. All marriages will have fights- it’s how you handle those fights which determines whether your marriage is a happy (or unhappy) one. Remember:

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.”
~~ Barnett R. Brickner

Taking responsibility for the care of aging parents is a noble undertaking, especially if parents are ill or dealing with dementia. While extended family has wonderful benefits, the decision to bring an elderly parent home to live with your family can also carry a heavy toll if goals and guidelines are not discussed ahead of time.

If you are considering this situation for your own family, take time to discuss the following issues. Not only will there be a realistic expectation but the primary caregiver can have the support and understanding they will so desperately need when things get difficult.

HOW LONG WILL THEY STAY?

The discussion of how long an elderly parent stays will be determined by different issues. If the parent is recuperating from an illness or the death of their partner, the stay may be limited to a specific time period.

If long term care is needed it is important to decide what amount of care your family is capable of providing. If more specialized care is eventually needed, the family is agreed on the steps to be taken, such as hiring a nurse or moving the parent to a nursing home.

WHO WILL CARE FOR THEM?

It is unfair to expect a particular member (usually the wife) to take on the responsibilities of caring for the elderly parent unless this has been decided beforehand. Caregiving can be very draining and an individual working full time or caring for children may not feel they can handle the extra work.

If one person decides to take on the responsibility, other members should take on auxiliary roles to relieve the main caregiver. These can be decided beforehand or else the family should agree to help, without irritation, when asked.

WHAT ARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES?

Along with deciding who is doing the work, it is important to know what responsibilities are involved. If there are health issues, the family, or at least the parents, should be informed as to what assistance they will be required to provide.

Children can take on responsibilities such as helping with chores, sitting with the grandparent so parents can do other chores or errands, or help care for younger siblings.

Give children a realistic idea of the demands you are taking on and keep communication open so they can vent their own frustrations at losing some of your attention and time.

HOW CAN THE CAREGIVER BE SUPPORTED?

Burnout is a major problem for caregivers. Whether you are alone or dealing with the demands of family along with caring for your parent, it is important that the primary caregiver be given relief for defined periods.

Family or friends can stay with the parent while the caregiver takes some time away; a walk, going shopping or even staying away for a night - especially if care is usually around the clock.

Hiring an aide or arranging for a nurse visit can also relieve the caregiver of excessive responsibility. This ability to walk away from the caregiving will allow the individual to relieve stress and keep perspective. Time away, without guilt, is absolutely essential for the caregiver’s health and the proper care of the elderly parent.