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Got a kid? Love him or her? Of course you do. So when he or she misbehaves on a consistent basis, what’s the best way to administer discipline?

Well, as you may be aware, there is a wide range of thought on this subject. One school of thought teaches essentially hand’s off, and says, the little darlings are very intelligent, so let them figure it all out on their own. No punishment or reward systems. Still another extreme says that the Singapore model of “caning” people for littering is a good one.

Most of us find ourselves in between these two nutty positions…and the word “nutty” is being charitable. If you don’t think so, then stop reading. You’re a lost cause and should find yourself a nice rubber room somewhere so that you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.

The fact is that anyone who actually watches children behave - without preset mental filters - will almost certainly come to the conclusion that different children respond differently. Some kids have a very high “pain” threshold. They can take whatever penalties you exact as they stubbornly refuse to do what they should do. There are others who can be easily motivated by various token systems.

So how do you find out what method of discipline will work for your kid(s)?

In a word: experiment! Here are six ideas for proceeding.

#1 - Put on your “scientist hat.” Research what’s out there. No author knows your kid better than you do. But many researchers have seen thousands of kids and had opportunities to try various strategies with kids and their families. So knowing what’s been done before is a very good strategy in and of itself.

#2 - Once you have a sense of what is possible, start interacting with your own kid(s). Bear in mind that we live in societies that are increasingly filled with busybodies who do everything they can to blur the lines between discipline and abuse. So be careful as you try different discipline ideas.

Important note: as you try these ideas, it is critically important that you (a) remember your main goal: raising good, intelligent children. If this isn’t your main goal, please find that aforementioned rubber room for yourself. And (b) be patient. This is as much an experiment for them as it is for you. They’ve never been where they are right now. It’s their first time being a kid at the age they are. And remember, you’re not dealing with lab rats here. You’re dealing with *your* children. Never lose sight of that.

#3 - When you find something that seems to work, don’t think you can finally relax. Nothing of the sort, my friend. Don’t confuse short term hits to the bull’s-eye with long term success. Your child may be responding to novelty as much as to the discipline. When the novelty wears off - and it will - your child may very well revert to the old behaviors that you tried to change. Novelty has a tough time lasting more than a few weeks. So give things at least 3-6 weeks to see if the changes are enduring.

#4 - Tweak before you make major changes in your efforts. For example, suppose you are rewarding your kid(s) with pizza at the end of the week if certain things are done right. And suppose you have reason to believe they are responding to novelty rather than the measures themselves. Rather than junking the measures, tweak them a bit to determine if your suspicion is valid. For example, you might vary the food rewards and say, “Look - if you do the right things, you get to pick what we have for Friday dinner.” You might be on the right track and tweaking gives you a chance to really find out.

#5 - If tweaking doesn’t work, then by all means try new approaches, keeping in mind all of the above.

#6 - Finally, be humble enough to know that you might need professional family help in the form of therapists and other counselor types. You’ve got to be careful here because these professionals vary widely in terms of competence and also in terms of appropriateness for your family. For example, some therapists suggest Ritalin as the first line of therapeutic intervention if the child is having trouble in school. You have a right to be skeptical in such situations. Listen to your own inner voice here. No matter how well intentioned, many therapists simply get things wrong. If the one you’ve initially selected isn’t right for your child or your family, try another.

Note: there are professional organizations that can help you find a decent therapist if there is a need. America and many other nations are rich in resources to help families. Look to them if your problems grow too intense for you to handle on your own.

Finally, use common sense. Sounds strange perhaps, but the fact is that no matter what professional help you may seek out, no matter what books you read, and no matter what online forums you participate in - YOU will be making the decisions. You are responsible, like it or not. Use the best intelligence you can and proceed with caution.

Many parents today would like their kids to watch a lot less TV, and instead, spend some quality family time. But how do you do that, when both parents are working, and there isn’t a lot of time to prepare fun activities on a daily basis?

Let’s find out what you need to have handy in order to find time to play with your family. Create a family activity center that includes fun things for everyone in the family. Here are some ideas, right from your home:

Toilet Paper Tubes: You can play your own version of “bowling” with these. Stand 10 of them up in a “V” shape, and have the kids throw a rubber ball at them (pick a 6″ diameter or smaller ball). Of course, you can encourage the kids to be creative and color the tubes, and you can also come up with different ways to throw the ball: standing on one foot, blindfolded, push it with your nose, etc.

Plastic Containers & Tops: You can use pudding and yogurt containers, or any other plastic tubs to hold your crayons, markers, and paint. The tops can be used as dials for play dashboards, or even as play dishes, or cookie cutters.

Cotton from Vitamin Bottles: You can use these to make hair for puppets, smoke for volcanoes, or snow for winter games.

Used Gift Wrap: Great to decorate home-made toys, and wrap make-belief gifts.

Fabric Scraps: These have so many uses to keep your kids busy! Make doll clothes, wrap gifts, decorate tins to keep pens in, make pillows and potpourri sachets, create small quilts, etc.

Junk Mail, Catalogs, and Magazines: Great sources of pictures for your family games. You can get decor for that new doll room, people for your next activity, and even a story or two to read.

As you can see, there are many things around your home that can be put to great use for quality family time.

Now, here are some quick game ideas you can play with the family, instead of watching TV:

Reverse Writing: This can make for some great fun for everyone in the family. Ask everyone to write a message for the rest of you, but in reverse. Then look in the mirror to see how you did. Not only is this game fun, but it exercises the brain of all those involved.

Sand Paintings: Take one of your child’s drawings, and make it an art piece. Using a Q-tip apply some white glue, to the drawing, then spread a handful of sand over it and let it dry for a few minutes. Shake the excess sand off, and you’ve got sand art. You can take this a step further, and add color to it, but painting the sand.

Create a Book: Who wouldn’t love being an author? Get together several magazines, newspapers, brochures, junk mail, and mail order catalogs, and look for things your child is interested in. Then, organize the pictures into a story line, glue them onto paper, and tie them together to form a book. Add a “hard cover” made of cardboard and decorated by your kids, and you are done.

It’s not hard to find ways to have quality time: all you need to do is a little planning. Go spend some time creating your own family activity center, and be ready for a lot of fun!

One of the trendiest baby communication techniques being talked about lately is sign language. The main reason for its popularity is the fact that it allows you to communicate with your baby before a spoken language is learned.

With baby sign language your baby is able to tell others exactly what they want and need. Because of this, the number of baby tantrums can be greatly reduced.

Every parent has witnessed the familiar signs of frustration in their baby before baby communication skills are developed and baby is unable to let others know what they are feeling and what they may need.

Gestures are certainly within the range of a baby’s repertoire long before the ability to articulate words is developed. Now, no one is suggesting that you sit down and attempt to teach your baby using the American Sign Language system. You just need a fairly small range of gestures that mean “I want”, “please help”, “I’m hungry” etc. If these gestures are understood by both baby and parent, they will serve the purpose of improving communication.

You should start teaching your baby sign language or, more accurately, basic gestures, by example. Because these gestures are visual in nature they are much easier for your baby to learn than spoken words.

You need to get to the stage where your baby begins to connect a basic gesture with an action, activity or object. If you do this consistently, you will find that over time your baby starts to mimic these gestures. You can also accompany the gesture with the word so that, eventually, your baby will graduate to using the spoken form.

Babies learn by imitating what they see adults do, so if you are consistent with using some basic gestures for certain activities and objects, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your baby picks them up. The most important thing is to keep it fun. Turn the activity of learning sign language into a game and you will see the best results.

Plan to develop a positive and informative method of baby sign language early. This communication with your baby will be a great platform for communication and assist in their growing experience.

Remember, good communication between you and your offspring will be the basis from which they will develop the most important life skill of all…being able to communicate with others as they make their way in the world.

You will also tend to find that the better the communication channels you have with your child, the better behaved they will be.